Book Review

The Average Indian Male 
Cyrus Broacha 
Random House India 
Rs. 199 

When you think of funny-man Cyrus Broacha, the image of MTV Bakra comes to mind. His crazy antics designed to fool the ‘aam admi’ has been a laugh riot. So when this comedian decides to write a book, one can only expect Broacha’s unparalleled humour to pop right out of the page. His debut novel Karl Aaj Aur Kal didn’t fly off the shelves due to his one dimensional jokes that got boring and redundant as the story progressed. With his second, the hope was that history wouldn’t repeat itself.

Well, as far as the story goes this time around, there is none. And about history repeating itself, time will ultimately tell. But the truth of the matter is, I had to push myself to finish reading the book. There were bits that had the Cyrus charm but over all, the book was a drag and one could tell that he was trying too hard to be funny. I wonder why he chose to divide the book into sections since it really didn’t seem to add any substance to the narrative. Most of the letters in this collection seem made up to say the least and there’s of course, his commentary interspersed which seemed superfluous at best.

An honest opinion would be that the only saving grace the book does have is the very honest foreword by Cyrus’ long-time partner in crime – Kunal Vijayakar. His opening sentence itself should set the tone of what one can expect from this book.

My Take

Cyrus fans might just appreciate this book but people who really do enjoy cleverly crafted humour should steer clear. The book is a huge disappointment.

By Charlene Flanagan

Movie Preview: Players

Players
Abhishek Bachchan, Sonam Kapoor, Neil Nitin Mukesh, Bipasha Basu
Directed by Abbas Mustan
6 January, 2012

Players, directed by the talented duo of Abbas-Mastan is about a team of thieves who plan to steal back gold bullion from a former associate who double crossed them. Whether it’s a good thing that Abhishek Bachchan essays the role of Charlie (played by Mark Wahlberg and Michael Caine before him) is something we can judge after the film’s release. However, this time around, it is not going to be just the men who hog all the ‘action’, the women will get a chance to show off their skills too. How progressive!

For those of you who watched The Italian Job (which incidentally is also a remake of a 1969 film by the same name), Players might seem like a frightening thought when you think of a Bollywood remake of the 2003 blockbuster. Admittedly, the original had all the right ingredients to make the movie sell. Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron and probably one of the most ingenious heists seen in a Hollywood flick. Don’t get me wrong. There have been several con men who have managed to wow the audience with the perfect combination of charm and wit. The Ocean movies and even the 2003 Confidence had some brilliant robberies. But that’s beside the point. What we have to ask is will Players live up to the expectations of the audience? And will it do justice to its original? We’ll just have to wait and watch.

By Charlene Flanagan

Movie Preview: Ghost

Ghost
Shiney Ahuja, Sayali Bhagat, Tej Sapru, Deepraj Rana
Directed by Puja Jatinder Bedi
16 December, 2011

Horror movies never get old. Bollywood horror on the other hand is invariably a laugh riot. Take for example Vikram Bhatt’s Phoonk or the very recent Haunted 3D. Let’s not forget that Ragini MMS most certainly needed to be revaluated as a horror film. So can we expect something different with Ghost? Let’s review…

City Hospital witnesses a chain of brutal murders that go beyond human comprehension and the hospital is left to deal with the aftermath. A leading investigative agency entrusted with the case, assign it to their most competent officer Vijay Singh (Shiney Ahuja) and Dr Suhani (Sayali Bhagat) is amongst the first to be questioned. What follows is a journey into the unknown as what lies beneath slowly begins to surface.

Horror fans gear up. Pooja Bedi’s horror film seems to have just the right masala to make it a hit. But one might question how even in times of terror, people can fall in love. Then again, this is Bollywood and blurring the lines between being realistic and outright bizarre is not too much of an issue. The film claims to have portrayed the most frightening encounters between good and evil with blood and gore being the main highlights. Well, let’s hope we have a scary good time!

By Charlene Flanagan

Book Review

Bombay Duck is a Fish
Kanika Dhillon
Westland
Rs. 195

If someone told me I’d be reading a book titled Bombay Duck is a Fish, I’d probably have looked at them, convinced they were delusional. But it seems that the universe has a funny sense of humour. Well for one thing, I did end up reading the book and for another, I found myself pleasantly surprised.

The story revolves around a girl Neki Brar, an aspiring film-maker trying to make it in Bollywood. Now, the plot doesn’t scream “prize winning novel” but then again, let’s not be hasty whilst judging. Keeping aside the clichéd story line, what drew me to keep reading was the simple fact that this book, though fictitious, might still be privy to what really lies behind all the glamour and make-up of a film set.

And Dhillon delivers. Slowly but tactfully she snakes her way right to the belly of the beast, where all the dirty, dark secrets of film-making lie. It does help that the author has first-hand experience since she worked her way up the ladder, having started as an assistant director and is now a screenwriter. Although, I wonder where the autobiographical elements of the story end… the protagonist hails from Amritsar, so does Dhillon. Neki managed to bad an AD position in a on a Fiza Kareem movie in the story while Dhillon assisted Farah Khan on Om Shanti Om… it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out the inspirations for her characters but the piercing question is how much of Neki’s life ties in with Dhillon’s rags to riches story. But that’s beside the point.

Dhillon’s characters have quite a bit of bite to them. Every detail she spent in spinning the story only makes you sink deeper into the journey Neki makes. From a naïve young girl to someone who manages to find her place, make an impression but then sink into an abyss of irrevocable desolation – ultimately leading to her ruin. The book has many colours to it, serving as an American dream of sorts (here more like the Indian equivalent of the American dream) to an example of how too much of a good thing can sometimes be bad.

Nearing the end of the story and completely caught up in Neki’s life by this time, you really don’t know what to expect. I have to be honest, the way Dhillon chose to end the story left me a bit confused. I don’t know if Neki goes through with what she sets out to at the beginning of the story or if she just fades into nothingness as most people who enter the film fraternity do. All I know is that it left me wondering about what really happened.

My take 

Though not ground breaking, Bombay Duck is a Fish is gripping and will have you glued till you’ve read it cover to cover. Steer clear if you want to make it in Bollywood though…

By Charlene Flanagan

Book Review

Chocolate_Guitar_Momos
By Kenny Deori Basumatary
Tranquebar
Rs. 200

Never judge a book by its cover. Well, in this case, that’s exactly what I did. Completely intrigued by the name, it was no surprise that I dropped what I was reading and began skimming through the pages of my new fixation. The book kicks off with the protagonist Joseph, a struggling musician, getting dumped by his third girlfriend, after a five-year-long relationship. What transpires next is Joseph’s downward spiral into depression and self-pity, followed by a wild goose chase of a girl he believes to be his soul-mate, hilariously presented by Basumatary. Though he misses his mark on strong character development, there are some amusing individuals we come across – Joseph and his friends, Moon the Internet Café owner and even Babu the bodyguard-cum-driver. He merely paints rough sketches of the persons they are, especially Joseph. I would have preferred a more compelling personality in the protagonist. After all, a story is only as strong as its characters.

An emotional rollercoaster entwined with back-stabbing friends, match-making sessions and an overly romantic male character is somewhat reflective of the chic-lit genre but Chocolate_Guitar_Momos presents a guys version of a break-up and what it means to take a chance on someone else. Filled with pain and disappointment and interspersed with a few moments of happiness, the novel breaks its narrative with intermittent comic relief. The story of Joseph’s quest is a laugh riot, as he ‘pokes’ around on Facebook looking for his soul-mate. It makes a profound decree on love and how life is never how we expect it to turn out.

The book perfectly portrays Guwahati and the bordering states in the North East. Having grown up there, Basumatary is familiar with the place and the cravings of the Assamese youth. However, the ending is not what you might expect, in keeping with the optimistic tone of the story. One might wonder if the author himself is happy with how the novel turned out. Honestly, it looks like he rushed through the last few pages, maybe in his hurry to meet a publishing deadline but the urgency in which he ends the novel is a clear indication that there is still a long way for Basumatary to go. Maybe he did not have a Pulitzer in mind when he set out to write this.

My take 

Read it for some frivolous fun and interesting anecdotes on travelling in the North East. Chocolate_Giutar_Momos makes for a fun read but plays out more like a light-hearted travel guide considering Basumatary’s familiarity with the place.

By Charlene Flanagan

Cruel Intentions

He came, like a touch upon the hand,
With eyes a glorious green,
So suddenly, it was hard to stand,
Nothing but a face was all she’d seen.

Standing tall, his head up high,
A smile that could melt any heart,
Every breath held a sigh,
Every man kept his woman apart

His strong form now seemed near,
Looking like it was carved of stone,
Hands that make someone quick to fear,
And another soften when alone.

Exuding confidence and abundant charm,
Poised and ready to proceed,
Walked to her, extended his arm,
Promised to fulfil her every need.

She’d known too much to believe his talk,
Her guard was up all the while,
She’d known the moment she saw him walk,
The moment she saw him smile.

She had known all about his deeds,
Warned, to watch and be aware,
He’s the cause of the heart that bleeds,
The man that doesn’t care.

She watched as he hopelessly tried,
An impression he had to make,
For he could not hurt his pride,
His reputation was at stake.

“Perhaps a dance may change your mind,
And show you that I’m good,
A bad standing left behind,
I am just misunderstood.”

He moved so elegantly, yet so bold,
Strong hands gentle to the touch,
Something about that tender hold,
Made her want him quite so much.

Sweet talk eventually gained control,
She gave in to passion’s trust,
The stain of sin upon her soul,
Betrayed by the night of lust.

The plain deceit, the obvious lies,
False words to trap and trick
What hides beneath those glorious eyes
Are thorns that pierce and prick

Arrogance, personified by this man,
Prides himself in another’s pain,
Out of choice, because he can,
For nothing but selfish gain.

Charlene Flanagan

Love Game

Scarlet lips begin to curl around
The cigarette that she holds
Sweet smoke fills up her every breath
As another night unfolds
Staring at her reflection
With a deadness in her eyes
She lowers her head, turns off the light
And stifles her desperate sighs
Stumbling down the road she goes
Clothes outlining her perfect shape
This night, like every one before
Allows for no escape
Preying eyes with every step she takes
Leaves her lost and in despair
But she carries on in a hopeless daze
Avoiding every stare
Rounds a corner to that one same spot
Takes her place under the stars
With one last drag of her cigarette
She began waving down the cars
Remnants of the girl she was
Stare back with fleeting hope
From the reflection of a tinted glass
A customer she tries to rope
If only she could finally see
Eyes filled with love instead
Be done with pantyhose and heels
And pay per hour motel beds
If someone could look past her flaws
And try to make her whole
They’d see she’s just a frightened girl
A weary, wounded soul
If someone tried to understand
Leave nothing left to hide
Put a smile back on her tainted face
And make her stand with pride
But she knows too well not to hope or pray
Life had nothing good in store
She knows the price of happiness
And wanting so much more
Heels click along the concrete road
Though it feels like sinking sand
She walks toward the waiting car
And takes the driver’s hand
She shakes away that hint hope
Slowly creeping in her eyes
Adjusts her dress, wipes away a tear
Stifling those desperate sighs

Charlene Flanagan